The Grass Is Always Green
Maybe We’re Just Colorblind
First thing first, disclaimer, this writing is not about colorblindness at all; this is about the famous proverb ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’ which, for those who don’t know, means people are never satisfied with their own situation and they always think others have it better. It is like our everyday news is the instagram posts about how people are always traveling or having some great food on their table, the facebook status about settled-down perfect family life, or the real-life story of living life to the fullest. The things that make us Green With Envy because our own lives suck.
No, it does not. My life doesn’t suck, and neither does yours.
Stop comparing yourself to other people. We compare everything: from paycheck to clothes to physical features to instagram followers. Surprisingly, the most frustrating thing about comparison is not that we compare wrong superficial measurable (and sometimes unmeasurable) things; it is that we compare our worst with someone else’s best. This happens because we know the deepest worst quality of our lives yet only have the best assumptions about others’ lives. We may never notice that it’s not always so delightful because people only tell good stories of their life — the ones they’re proud to tell, the happy ones — promotion, wedding, vacation, without B-Sides. The truth is, no one brags about their lousy days, and we unsuitably compare our imperfect lives to their greatest hits.
We have the ability to control one life: our own. Unhealthy habit of comparing ourselves to other people only leads to discontentment since it sends our focus away as we would waste our energy to their lives instead of our own. In addition, comparison has no end-game; there are too many categories upon which we can compare ourselves and an infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. So, unless measuring up against others actually holds an importance in our lives, why would we want any negativity that consistently promotes feelings of inferiority, envy, and bad competition with no end in sight?
There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them. We are unique and special in our own ways. You are unique and special in your own way — celebrate who you are.
Give, help, and serve other people. There are so many scientific studies about the benefits of giving, not just for the receivers, but also for the givers’ health and happiness. Over the decades, researches show good feelings are reflected in our biology, releasing endorphins in the brain as well as oxytocin — the love hormone — that induce feelings of warmth and happiness. To top that, there’s an old saying that goes, “if you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Happiness is enjoyed at the very moment of giving back inasmuch as putting resources to serving others creates a positive feedback loop between kindness and merriment which further make us appreciate everything in the big picture.
While donating — money, time, or skills and talents — give a purpose that we can look forward to. To build the satisfied life, grow together with our passion should be the foundation for our giving since it will score higher across the board on positive psychological indicator. Continuous charity, devoted time, and sincere mentoring add a little ray of happiness whenever we see the fruits of our assistance bloom and make someone’s life better in turn. Lending a helping hand allows us to reflect the value back to us as we reach every goal, we hold on to acknowledge more of what we have.
The fact that we are able to offer something will give us a finer appreciation for what we own. And the more we give, the more we stand to gain purpose and meaning in life; a positive cycle where kindness makes us happy and happiness makes us kind.
Count the gratitude of little things that gives simple joys. Another one of the biggest mistake people make is spending more time focusing on the things they don’t have rather than the things they already have which is exactly the opposite of developing contentment. Instead of keeping track of the bad things that only bring miserable memories, reverse it to listing convenient pleasures. Train the brain to see everything positively by noticing frequent boosts — owing to the fact that consistent amount of minor success produces much more satisfaction — in contrast to rare big events that (we think) might make us thrilled. Likewise, boosting a contagious positivity can be found while looking for the random act of good out there then express our thankfulness in words or respond with even nicer actions.
Understand that our happiness does not rely on any material possessions. The reason why many of us struggle to bring content into life is because we believe that acquisitions is the key to happiness — we buy things because we think they’ll give us comfort, security, and an exciting life. Not that money won’t increase happiness, but if we want to be happier, our time and energy should focus on the inward values such as humility, goodness, and love. Once the qualities of a simplified life show its beauty, we cherish every minute of small free things in life.
Take a quiet moment to examine life and be grateful for something as life is meant to be lived intentionally and thoughtfully. Look within, accept ourselves, and realize that happiness already resides in us.
Contentment is a state of being satisfied with what you have and happy with your overall life. While we must never stop learning, growing, and discovering, the process of our ambitious strive should be enjoyed entirely to move toward the best version of ourselves. Gratitude for the progress that we have made is integral to happiness and therefore should be the way how we measure success to actually opt for happiness because, like everything in life, contentment is a choice.
Decide how good your life is currently going and rejoice the blessings of the moment, do something that lets you improve and makes you happy, and avoid being your own worst enemy by making toxic comparisons of your life. By developing the right mindset and viewpoints, we will identify that we have everything we need to be happy right now. After all, the famous proverb “the grass is always greener on the other side” actually means that “the others’ circumstances always seem more desirable than one’s own but in reality are often not.”
We are thankful for being happy, and it’s always been that way.
